Rumor has it...

Rumors are pesky little buggers. One little drop of speculation sends them into a rumor mill frenzy. Remember in high school hearing the "Well so-and-so told what's-her-name that she did such-and-such with you-know-who, you-know-where" stories? You would think as we grow older we would in turn grow wiser and be less into these usually tall tales. But nope. In some cases, it gets worse...who knew!? 

I know what you're thinking: "Who doesn't gossip a little bit?" And you're right. We are all guilty of it. We are all guilty of being a lot of things - Bad friends, bad girl/boy friends, even bad relatives at times. But, for the most part, we tend to be well meaning. It's when well meaning turns into malicious and mean that problems arise. When you throw away those things you once found value in and start placing more value on revenge or getting a leg up on others. 

But it does beg the question: At what point do we outgrow such childish behavior?

Apparently for some...Never. 

As I see the dramas unfold in my life and the lives of others, it makes me pray that one day, we will get it together. I hate seeing friendships end, relationships destroyed based on outside noise, and family's at war over nosey people. I can't bare to watch. It's gruesome. 

Imma do my thang...

As I sit here watching all 6 seasons of Sex and the City it's becoming clear that I have to get used to doing my own thing. Single and ready to mingle. NOT. I hate being single if I can be honest. Dating sucks. Finding a good guy is like trying to count the number of stars in the sky. It's as if there are not many good guys my age! And the ones who are my age are gay or married. So you date someone younger and they are too...I dunno...something. And they aren't ready for anything that you are ready for. So you end up looking silly and alone because he they are too busy being involved with themselves. 

I totally understand why Carrie had a love affair with shoes. And then she had a love affair with an older, somewhat together, gentlemen by the name of Mr. Big. So yea, I know one day my..uh...Mr. Big...will come. But right now I am going to embrace being single and just do my own thing. But as much I know in my heart that's what I need and I'm going to do the question remains: after being attached to someone for 3 years...

How do you re-learn to be single?

Well for starts, I can focus on ME for a change. I have spent my whole life it seems thinking of others, it's time to be a little selfish. Nothing wrong with a little selfishness from time to time right! Focus on school and and learning how to experience new things in my life. Go on trips and hang out with the girls. Try foods I have never had, buy my first apartment, just live. But live for me!!! It's liberating and scary at the same time! And one day, Mr. Big, lol.

Now I am not saying that I'm over the break up. Trust me I'm not. It's kinda hard to be over it when you see that person on daily basis. But I digress. I know that with great girlfriends and an amazing family to help me get through it, I will be stronger then ever. A year from now, who knows what kind of person I'll be. One thing is for sure....Imma be doing my thang! 

The start of something new....

That's where I am. Starting something new. And it's scary and exciting and bizarre and weird all at the same time. As of today, I am unemployed, single, and a full time student. Needless to say....

Yes. I am freaking out! I've never not held a job so this is gonna take some getting used to. But it's for the good of all mankind!!! Ok, it's for the good of all KENYA-kind. I need to focus on school and having person after person tell me this I finally took the plunge. I am now and until further notice...Just a student.  Did I mention I'm freaking out?

Thank GOD for supportive people in my life otherwise I'd be way worse off. Having a good support system is IMPERATIVE!!! It's during these trying times you learn who's really in your corner, and who was just there when the going was easy. As soon as things get hard...they have to run for they're lives...

Chile please...I surely ain't got no time for that! But I won't let that deter me and my goals. I will keep my support group and do what I need to do to make it through this rough patch. Because truly that is what this is. God is with me, I know that he will never leave me or forsake me. And I will use this blog as a sort of stress relief. You can count on seeing lots of venting and near nervous breakdowns on here. But you can also expect to see me win. To conquer my beasts and to rise above. Because that's what I have to do. Not for my family or  my friends. I have to do this. FOR ME! 

So stay tuned, because this just got real.