I've been thinkin'...I've been thinkin'....

....That I may start doing a video blog. I did a video for class and I got a lot of good feedback. I think it would show a little more of me and it's pretty fun to make the videos. I could like them on here and add them to youtube. It's a thought. I'll keep you guys posted but for now, if you want to see the video I did for class it's below. Feedback would be awesome!  It's not perfect (example, the last title page should say "It's all about me" and it says "it's all day" No idea why, lol), it's my first time doing it but I would love to hear what you guys think. Thanks!!! 

Love the way you Dye...

Like a lot of women, I like to get creative and dye my hair crazy colors. Live on the edge!

 OK, so maybe not crazy. Just black. But I have been doing it for years. And for the last couple of years I have used this particular dye. And it worked great...except this time...

This time, the dye was not my friend. I have the worlds worst rash from the top of my head down the top of my back and shoulders! It's horrible. I mean itching so much you can't even sleep. So now I am slathered in Calamine Lotion, Cortisone 10, and Aveno Lotion. Joy of joys! Just what I need right now.  

Well, turns out, I should be glad I am just itching!! There have been reports of people using this brand of dye and dying from the reaction! WHAT?? You can DIE from DYE!? 

Oh heck naw! I'm done! No more hair dye for this girl! That particular cost of beauty is a lil too high thank you very much! 

Moral of the story, no amount of my vanity is worth the rash, or death!

Can't deal....Death by Dye. Mind boggling!

Rumor has it...

Rumors are pesky little buggers. One little drop of speculation sends them into a rumor mill frenzy. Remember in high school hearing the "Well so-and-so told what's-her-name that she did such-and-such with you-know-who, you-know-where" stories? You would think as we grow older we would in turn grow wiser and be less into these usually tall tales. But nope. In some cases, it gets worse...who knew!? 

I know what you're thinking: "Who doesn't gossip a little bit?" And you're right. We are all guilty of it. We are all guilty of being a lot of things - Bad friends, bad girl/boy friends, even bad relatives at times. But, for the most part, we tend to be well meaning. It's when well meaning turns into malicious and mean that problems arise. When you throw away those things you once found value in and start placing more value on revenge or getting a leg up on others. 

But it does beg the question: At what point do we outgrow such childish behavior?

Apparently for some...Never. 

As I see the dramas unfold in my life and the lives of others, it makes me pray that one day, we will get it together. I hate seeing friendships end, relationships destroyed based on outside noise, and family's at war over nosey people. I can't bare to watch. It's gruesome. 

Imma do my thang...

As I sit here watching all 6 seasons of Sex and the City it's becoming clear that I have to get used to doing my own thing. Single and ready to mingle. NOT. I hate being single if I can be honest. Dating sucks. Finding a good guy is like trying to count the number of stars in the sky. It's as if there are not many good guys my age! And the ones who are my age are gay or married. So you date someone younger and they are too...I dunno...something. And they aren't ready for anything that you are ready for. So you end up looking silly and alone because he they are too busy being involved with themselves. 

I totally understand why Carrie had a love affair with shoes. And then she had a love affair with an older, somewhat together, gentlemen by the name of Mr. Big. So yea, I know one day my..uh...Mr. Big...will come. But right now I am going to embrace being single and just do my own thing. But as much I know in my heart that's what I need and I'm going to do the question remains: after being attached to someone for 3 years...

How do you re-learn to be single?

Well for starts, I can focus on ME for a change. I have spent my whole life it seems thinking of others, it's time to be a little selfish. Nothing wrong with a little selfishness from time to time right! Focus on school and and learning how to experience new things in my life. Go on trips and hang out with the girls. Try foods I have never had, buy my first apartment, just live. But live for me!!! It's liberating and scary at the same time! And one day, Mr. Big, lol.

Now I am not saying that I'm over the break up. Trust me I'm not. It's kinda hard to be over it when you see that person on daily basis. But I digress. I know that with great girlfriends and an amazing family to help me get through it, I will be stronger then ever. A year from now, who knows what kind of person I'll be. One thing is for sure....Imma be doing my thang! 

The start of something new....

That's where I am. Starting something new. And it's scary and exciting and bizarre and weird all at the same time. As of today, I am unemployed, single, and a full time student. Needless to say....

Yes. I am freaking out! I've never not held a job so this is gonna take some getting used to. But it's for the good of all mankind!!! Ok, it's for the good of all KENYA-kind. I need to focus on school and having person after person tell me this I finally took the plunge. I am now and until further notice...Just a student.  Did I mention I'm freaking out?

Thank GOD for supportive people in my life otherwise I'd be way worse off. Having a good support system is IMPERATIVE!!! It's during these trying times you learn who's really in your corner, and who was just there when the going was easy. As soon as things get hard...they have to run for they're lives...

Chile please...I surely ain't got no time for that! But I won't let that deter me and my goals. I will keep my support group and do what I need to do to make it through this rough patch. Because truly that is what this is. God is with me, I know that he will never leave me or forsake me. And I will use this blog as a sort of stress relief. You can count on seeing lots of venting and near nervous breakdowns on here. But you can also expect to see me win. To conquer my beasts and to rise above. Because that's what I have to do. Not for my family or  my friends. I have to do this. FOR ME! 

So stay tuned, because this just got real.

Me, myself, & I..it's all I got in the end...

We all have those "I'm gonna be so on my game and workout and eat right and get fit...all that!" moments. And we start out with the best of intentions and we are really and truly on our game. That is until "Life" slaps you in the head and throws you off your game. It then becomes a million times harder to get back to that motivated state. That's me. That's where I was. Not saying I gained a ton of weight or anything. But with school, church, a job, and a relationship to juggle...life more like kicked me in the face. 

Now I am faced with various changes in my life that have forced me to focus solely on the important things in life. Mainly...ME! I'm always taking care of others, putting others before me. But now, it's just me. No family, no boyfriend, no church responsibilities to place all my focus on. It's just me, myself, and I. I won't lie, this is strange territory for me. But it's also a big adventure. And I'm looking forward to the journey. I've started personal training, and I'm going to be blogging about the journey to...well me I guess. Finding myself, dealing with my struggles, and how I'm going to come out stronger than ever! I'm so excited to share this with everyone and I hope that perhaps I can inspire someone to do the same. 

Say something...I'm giving up on you...

Hey guys and dolls. Don't give up on me just yet. I am revamping the blog and I will have a lot to talk about. Lots of life changes going on and I think I need this blog to help me adjust to them all. Some are amazing...other not so much. Looking forward to blogging again. Therapy for sure. TTYL.